President George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States, was assassinated earlier today as he departed the Sheraton Hotel in Chicago by an unidentified sniper working most likely from across of the street. Authorities have already released a photo of the suspect, a Syrian-born man with potential ties to Islamic terrorist groups. Already, Vice President-now President Dick Cheney has been taken to a secure location, most likely somewhere in West Virginia.

The President was rushed to the nearest hospital but by then it was too late - America's Chief Executive died shortly after being shot.

"It is a sad day for America but we will find the one responsible for this horrendous act and bring him to justice," said Cheney via a videoconference with various media outlets. The former Vice President evoked the 25th Amendment after the news that Bush had been seriously injured had been released in the event that the President would not make it. He urged Americans to stay calm given the circumstances.

"This country will continue to run," remarked a teary but defiant President Cheney. "We will not allow terrorists to bring this nation to its knees. We did not surrender after September 11 and we will not now."

...

...ok, by now, most of you have probably already stopped by the Drudge Report, FOXNEWS or whatever source you use to check out the official information about this story. And you have found none of it to be true. That's because it isn't.

I'll admit, I went a bit further than the information I had in front of me just for the sake of pulling you folks along in hopes that a few of you would turn on the television or visit any type of online news source and get ticked at what I wrote because it is not true. The President is not dead and Dick Cheney is not the 44th President. (Both conservatives and liberals can now breathe a sigh of relief on that latter not being true.)

Some of you are probably still irked at what I posted above even though I admitted to it being false (and, yes, I bet some readers are now depressed that it isn't true). After all, the death of a president, no matter what party he is a member of, is no laughing matter.

Apparently the folks at the More4 network failed to get the memo. The network is planning to air a docudrama detailing a fictional assassination of President Bush in October 2007. Peter Dale, the head of More4 called the upcoming film a "pointed political examination of what the War on Terror did to the American body politic." Like I wrote above, the suspected sniper is of Syrian birth but he is framed for the crime because of America's stance on the War on Terrorism. I can already here the "if we had just done the right thing in Iraq and the Middle East while the President was still alive, this might not have happened. Here's a tissue - cry with us (while we quietly celebrate the death of "he's not my President" Bush even though it's just make-believe)."

The "thought-provoking, powerful drama" (according to Dale, who added that the film was a "thought-provoking critique" of American society (which means, for those who don't understand, the whole "Bush lied, people died" falsity mixed in with some good 'ole GOP bashing for good measure) that should run around 90 minutes long) will premier at the Toronto Film Festival in September.

Also expected to air at the Film Festival prior to the Bush assassination docudrama is a Michael Moore documentary detailing how he had discovered that Dick Cheney is really Satan incarnate, a CNN-run documentary on how conservatives secretly eat babies and step on cute puppies for fun and a film directed by Sean Penn and Alec Baldwin on how the Bush administration is planning to launch a nuclear warhead on the United States prior to giving every US citizen AIDS and sucking their money out of their pockets with a giant vacuum being built in space (the running title is "V for Vendetta II: Fight the Fascist, Christian President We Are Forced to Salute).

Good grief, can we please get rid of the anti-Bush garbage in the entertainment industry? So you don't like the President, Hollywood. Here's the thing: WE KNOW! QUIT REMINDING US! How many docudramas did we film assassinating Bill Clinton back when he was exposed in worse problems than our current President has been caught up in?

Grow up.

(Photo Credit: http://yooha.meepzorp.com/dead-bird-flying/index_files/bush-dead-bird.jpg, Photo Edit: Blake Fought)