Even with the NFL Draft and Chicago Cubs baseball going on, I did not forget the loyal readers of this series. Between the excitement of the Pittsburgh Steelers trading up and picking up the best wide reciever in the draft, WR Santonio Holmes of Ohio State, and the rage at Cubs starter Glendon Rusch for once again slacking off on the mound and giving up three walks and four home runs to the Milwaukee Brewers, it was hard to find the time to delve into the trash heap of news articles to find you, our dear readers, the more bizarre and interesting stories of the week. However, here they are for you, so enjoy!

6. Yes, there is a record for mass breastfeeding. And a large group of Filipino mothers are planning to break it and they will need to have a slew of able-breasted women to bust the Guinness record of 1,130 women who mass-fed their babies back in 2002. Carrie Villamor, an information officer for Children for Breastfeeding Inc. said that "the Filipino breastfeeders would be able to surpass this record even if the rate of breastfeeding in this country has declined." The event is planned on May 4 at the San Andres sports complex in Manila.

5. Jury selection. A good collection of people in this country have to serve it, even former presidential candidate John Kerry. But sometimes, people are unable to handle the toils of jury duty for whatever reason. Personal bias. Personal disability. Being dead. Or being a four-year-old girl. Little Beatrice Ball probably had no idea what was going on when Mom and Dad opened a letter in the mail inviting the child to attend a trial and be a potential juror. Her father said of the mishap, "Beatrice is bright for her age but this is ridiculous."

4. 46-year-old George Gifford more than likely suffers from a case of being a moron. Why do I say this? Because the Illnois man was arrested this past Thursday for carrying a concealed sword into a local courthouse. Ed Miller, the Harrisonburg Sheriff, said that a security officer examined Gifford's cane and found a 20-inch blade inside. Maybe Gifford wanted to have a sword duel with someone in the courthouse or maybe he was just a moron. Sadly, we will not find out which one is the real reason.

3. It is the kind of thing that you just shake your head at. Beyond saying that, I will let the readers gather their own thoughts about this story. A 36-year-old Green Bay woman punched her 15-year-old daughter in the face and head before eventually restricting her to her bed by handcuffing the teenager to the bedrails. Oh, and the reason for doing so? The teen had snatched mom's marujuana stash. The woman, Kelly Johnston, was sentenced to 13 months at the Brown County jail followed by three years of probation and to write two 1,000-word essays to her daughter on the topics of "Ten Things I Love About You" and "Ten or More Favorite Memories About You and Why They are My Favorites."

2. Apparently even Massacheusetts liberal senator Ted Kennedy cannot escape the clutches of radical far-left groups such as that of Greenpeace. What exactly did Mr. Kennedy do to tick off the tree huggers to the point that they began running 30-second long ads against the senator? Kennedy recently opposed a wind farm in the Nantucket Sound because it would be a visual eyesore from the view at the senator's Hyannis Port mansion. In the ads, Kennedy appears as a Japanese movie monster wrecking havoc on wind turbines and claiming "I might see them from my mansion on the Cape."

1. If you see a large (300+ lbs, to be exact), handicapped man walking around the streets of Chicago with a limp, feel free to call the police and point him out. Over the course of the past seven months, a 6-foot, 300 lbs man managed to rob a total of six banks and recently struck at a Chicago-based Bank of America this past Tuesday in the early morning. Apparently the police response isn't too fast because after all, let me remind you: the guy is 300 pounds, is on a limp and uses a cane. How is heaven's name did he get away so fast?