No, I have not forgotten, dear readers. With the first round of the NBA Playoffs kicking off and the Playstation 2 demanding usage, my time was a bit restricted to delve into the trash heap of news stories to bring you, the dear readers of RUnderground, the more interesting and bizarre stories of the week. And let's not forget the shower that was necessary to get the stench out too. Ugh. Why do I sacrifice myself so for you folks? I don't know. Heck, I better just stop writing before I get too frustrated and delete this post.

6. Here's a scene to consider. You're watching 24 on FOX, Jack Bauer has been pinned down by terrorists and has to consider his next move. The show goes to commercial with its "beep-beep-beep-beep" sequence before a break. A Nextel ad comes up and you realize, "hey, I don't want to watch this considering I'm a Verizon customer," so you grab your handy remote and want to check the score of the Cubs-Astros game on WGN. You press the button to change the channel. Nothing happens. Huh? You press the button again. Nothing happens. Royal Philips Electronics wants to see this happen. The company has created a device that could let broadcasters freeze a channel during commercial breaks to block viewers from flipping to other stations. The device, which would become the most-hated invention since the time some moron mixed the words "toll" and "road" together, is patent-pending with the U.S. Patent and Trade Office. But, they did say that customers would be able to avoid the feature if they ponied up a small fee to the respective broadcasting station. Oh, joy. I feel comforted.

5. Here's an idea for the folks at the German town of Goerlitz: next time you want to do some redesigning of your town, it might be a good idea to check out the layout plans before everything gets set in stone. Goerlitz, hoping to be named the Culture Capital of Europe in 2010 accidentally placed a swastika, the symbol of the Nazi party under Adolf Hitler, in the middle of a cobbled street. It took nearly four months after the street had been placed before the symbol was noticed and was eventually ordered to be replaced. The town's mayor, Joachim Paulick called it "a catastrophe" and promised that "we will make sure it is removed."

4. I'm not really sure what to say about this story. After speeding through downtown Ottawa, Canadian Matt Brownlee managed to escape conviction because the 33-year old told police and psychiatrists that he believed that singer Shania Twain was helping him drive. As a result, a judge ruled that he was not criminally responsible because, as the article states "he suffers from delusions that female celebrities communicate with him telepathically. I'm not going to attack this guy. After all, we all know that Avril Lavigne helps me drive.

3. While heated discussions here at Radford have raged on over tolerance and acceptance of homosexuality, a bizarre story came out of Palm Beach County, Florida about the sexual preference. Tony Lynch, the county's School Board Chairman apologized this week a week after he referred to gays as a "species." Talk about weird. Apparently Mr. Lynch forgot that although homosexuals may be different than heterosexuals, they are still human beings. The term "intolerant" comes to mind here. Heck, if the local gay-rights group didn't demand an apology, someone was bound to. Heck, I might have sent in a demand had I heard about it in time. Tolerance, dude, tolerance. You don't have to accept homosexuality but it is a foul thing to refuse to consider those who commit homosexuality as another species. That's just wrong.

2. Here's an idea for those thinking about posing as a handicapped person to shoplift goods: stay in character. Jacqueline Ward, an Indiana woman, was charged with a hiding shoplifted goods in a motorized wheelchair and fled a hospital on foot only hours later. Police Lt. Leo Finnerty, a bit irked by the bizarre turn of events, said "she turned a misdemeanor into a felony by getting out of that wheelchair and fleeing." Ward lifted $206 worth of items (including jewelry, a pocketbook and shoes) and stored them under the seat of the motorized wheelchair. Ward was initially charged with misdemeanor assault until she complained about being sick following her arrest and ran off shortly thereafter.

1. Caren Brady more than likely was not pleased when she found out that her Dodge Caravan had been stolen. It didn't make things any easier to learn that the thief was one of her own students. Brady, who is a teacher at James Marshall School in California, had her keys whisked away when her back was turned to her third grade class. Yes, for those who quickly ran through the math, the thief was an 8-year-old boy. The youngster, whose name was not released told police that he "just wanted to drive around for a while" and he sure did--driving the vehicle nearly a kilometer away from the school and parked the van on his driveway after raising the driver's seat, lowering the steering wheel, adjusting the rearview mirror and turning off the radio. While Brady, who refused to allow the kid back into her class, said that he was "the smallest child you can ever imagine," apparently he's also one of the more intelligent kids out there. How many 8-year-olds know how to raise a driver's seat and lower the steering wheel? Needless to say, the youngster was not charged with the crime but was suspended from the school for an undisclosed period of time.